Two short sentences following one of the greatest accounts shared through Scripture. I have read them repeatedly in my life but I think in previous moments I have been so emotionally enveloped in the description of what my Savior and Friend had just experienced on my behalf as well as his interaction with Peter in the previous verses that I have overlooked them. (This too is one of my favorite accounts in the Bible).
"Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." -John 21:25
These words proclaim the Power and Efficiency of Jesus Christ as they simply stand on the page, from the 33 years of life to the 3 or so years of ministry.
If I already can't fathom what I know about Him doing, how much did he really do? I allowed my mind to wander through my memories of the first time I saw the library in the animated film Beauty and the Beast and continue through my tour of the library at the Biltmore in Asheville. These two experiences alone, as minimal as they are, created awe within me. As the realization struck me that John did not have the experience of holding a modern book or walking through a Barnes and Noble and seeing binding after binding lining shelf after shelf, these words grew in size and meaning before my eyes "the whole world would not have room". John also did not know at this point how many years the Body would continue in this world following the resurrection to be able to testify to what the Arisen LORD would do through hearts down through the ages! Already he is exclaiming that the world could not hold the accounts which is in reality a fraction of what He has done! What POWER!! what GLORY!! Whom and what shall we fear?!?!
Monday, May 06, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
"Flipside Farah"
I have a friend who has recently dubbed this title for me. She recognized before I did that I can usually find another perspective about most any topic. While I find the humor and love in her comment, I do struggle with indecisiveness because of this strength. That is the thing about human strengths; they usually cause an opposing weakness. In my youth, sermons about being "lukewarm" used to weigh upon me heavily because of this but as I have grown in knowing Him, I have been able to see more clearly when I am experiencing empathy or perspective and when I am being spineless mush.
Lately, I have been watching many of my friends take and project their "stances" on issues whether personal or political. On one hand, I envy their decisiveness having made up their mind and stated their position. On the other hand, I can't help but wonder: will they be able to still stand in that circle they have drawn five or ten years down the road having had more life experiences hurled in their direction? I certainly have experienced refinement of opinion in my own life many times! (Granted there are some things that are black and white)
There are also many of my friends that truly believe that I have certain stances on many issues and yet we have never even discussed them. For most of my life, people have made decisions on whether to include me in an event in their life based on where they thought I stood about certain things. A couple of my friends who are pastors' wives and I have repeatedly lived through how people adjust their words or behaviors as soon as they find out to whom you're married. The people who know me BEST know that I have intricacies weaved throughout my views on things.
In processing this, I began to ponder if this is what Christ was emphasizing when he stated, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." (John 15:15) Oh, to know Him so well and our friendship to be strong enough as to see intricately how He sees things, to do as He does, to love as He loves! Many times in Scripture He surprised those around Him (and me) with the stands he took, as with Zacchaeus, the woman caught in adultery, the woman with the alabaster jar, and several times with Peter (just to name a few). As for me I hope to remember to stand for the fact that I am wrong, to stand to love all other people who are wrong with me, to seek to follow the way through the Word, and most of all to love the One who is right and good, righteous and true.
Lately, I have been watching many of my friends take and project their "stances" on issues whether personal or political. On one hand, I envy their decisiveness having made up their mind and stated their position. On the other hand, I can't help but wonder: will they be able to still stand in that circle they have drawn five or ten years down the road having had more life experiences hurled in their direction? I certainly have experienced refinement of opinion in my own life many times! (Granted there are some things that are black and white)
There are also many of my friends that truly believe that I have certain stances on many issues and yet we have never even discussed them. For most of my life, people have made decisions on whether to include me in an event in their life based on where they thought I stood about certain things. A couple of my friends who are pastors' wives and I have repeatedly lived through how people adjust their words or behaviors as soon as they find out to whom you're married. The people who know me BEST know that I have intricacies weaved throughout my views on things.
In processing this, I began to ponder if this is what Christ was emphasizing when he stated, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." (John 15:15) Oh, to know Him so well and our friendship to be strong enough as to see intricately how He sees things, to do as He does, to love as He loves! Many times in Scripture He surprised those around Him (and me) with the stands he took, as with Zacchaeus, the woman caught in adultery, the woman with the alabaster jar, and several times with Peter (just to name a few). As for me I hope to remember to stand for the fact that I am wrong, to stand to love all other people who are wrong with me, to seek to follow the way through the Word, and most of all to love the One who is right and good, righteous and true.
Monday, February 04, 2013
Rhythm Amongst Utter Confusion
As I read "God also said to Moses, 'I am the LORD. I appeared to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob as God Almighty, but by my name the LORD I did not make myself known to them. (Exodus 6:2-3) I heard a beat. Was it a drum, was it bass? No, it was a heartbeat. Flashbacks of David teaching a group of students about God's heartbeat for humanity flew across my mind. My heart did backflips as I realized this was one of those beats in that repetitive rhythm that awes me.
I have always loved a good beat. From my childhood, living near the high school football stadium, hearing the drums lead the march into the stands to songs on the radio to a drumroll just before a reveal or punchline.
I admit I don't always comprehend the beat of His Heart for His ways are much higher than mine so I usually look like I have two left feet when He asks me to dance. I even searched and dug back through Genesis to see how Abraham referred to him. Remembering that Moses is believed to have been the author of the Pentateuch most likely during the 40 year wandering in the desert helped appease my brain's snivelings of defiance. This is the name Moses had come to know as the LORD's! In this passage God is telling Moses: I am introducing myself to you and the Israelites that are captive in Egypt in a way that has not been done before- as One who redeems, Breaker of your bondage, One who will be with you. So listen up, watch, and experience! It will be NEW and I am letting you be part of it!
There are so many beats that make up the rhythm of His love for humanity from the first beat of Creation to the last breath of Jesus on the cross to the crescendo of his ascent first from the grave and then on to the right side of the Father- all of which were NEW, NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE. A cloud passing by a cleft in a rock, delivery of a promised land, a Most Holy Place, a virgin birth, a child teaching scholars; it goes on and on.
So why does my own heart and soul pound so with anticipation and excitement? Because it is continuing steadily building until that day that He reconciles it all, when He seals His claim to us for eternity, and removes the separation for good! One can't even guess what that NEW THING WILL BE or who gets to participate! But He knows!
I have always loved a good beat. From my childhood, living near the high school football stadium, hearing the drums lead the march into the stands to songs on the radio to a drumroll just before a reveal or punchline.
I admit I don't always comprehend the beat of His Heart for His ways are much higher than mine so I usually look like I have two left feet when He asks me to dance. I even searched and dug back through Genesis to see how Abraham referred to him. Remembering that Moses is believed to have been the author of the Pentateuch most likely during the 40 year wandering in the desert helped appease my brain's snivelings of defiance. This is the name Moses had come to know as the LORD's! In this passage God is telling Moses: I am introducing myself to you and the Israelites that are captive in Egypt in a way that has not been done before- as One who redeems, Breaker of your bondage, One who will be with you. So listen up, watch, and experience! It will be NEW and I am letting you be part of it!
There are so many beats that make up the rhythm of His love for humanity from the first beat of Creation to the last breath of Jesus on the cross to the crescendo of his ascent first from the grave and then on to the right side of the Father- all of which were NEW, NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE. A cloud passing by a cleft in a rock, delivery of a promised land, a Most Holy Place, a virgin birth, a child teaching scholars; it goes on and on.
So why does my own heart and soul pound so with anticipation and excitement? Because it is continuing steadily building until that day that He reconciles it all, when He seals His claim to us for eternity, and removes the separation for good! One can't even guess what that NEW THING WILL BE or who gets to participate! But He knows!
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Going to Work with Dad
I remember going to work with my Dad. It was the early 80s and he worked at Polaroid in Atlanta, Georgia. I didn't get to see him very often and realize that this was probably during the 4 weeks I went to visit him and my step-mother in the summer. I wore a dress; I adored his secretary, Linda Kersey; I sat a desk near her and typed on the type writer. She also let me do some sorting of receipts putting them in order by date so she could file them more easily. They were on some type of carbon paper that felt strange and good all at the same time. I drew on the white board in the conference room and met people that worked with my dad, shaking their hands and being on my best behavior just hoping that he was proud of me and I wasn't embarrassing him. I took part in his daily activity; it was a shared experience.
Toward the end of Winter Break 2012, David took turns taking the boys to work with him one on Thursday, another on Friday. They loved it; getting to know the people he worked with; going to lunch with him; seeing the warehouse attached to his office; and just being one on one with him for the day. They witnessed the influence that he has in the lives of those he interacts with on a daily basis. They took part in his daily activity; it was a shared experience.
The first time I distinctly remember going to work with God, my Heavenly Father I was in Clearwater, Florida. A small group and I had broken away from our designated assignments for the Spring break mission trip, had pooled some of our food money for the week, bought and had monogrammed two leather Bibles, and were walking behind two large smelly dumpsters to say goodbye to two homeless men we had befriended during the week. They were veterans who had lost most everything they loved during their deployments; had given up on hope in life; and who were not accepted in the large church where we were assisting with coffee houses to draw in other college students in the area. They were not the target for our trip; they were not the specific audience for whom we had prayed in preparation for our trip; but their lives were the ones whom He had planned to intersect ours. Their stories would change us as much if not more than ours would change theirs. I took part in God's daily activity of touching their hearts once again in the rhythm of His heartbeat for us.
Other trips to His office included loving children in New York and working to stock a food pantry in Manhattan, moving my bed in front of the door to keep some beautiful girls from sneaking out in Panama City and eventually them not seeing me as the enemy, painting and washing and loading and unloading, leading songs with absolutely NO musical talent, teaching weekly Bible studies to fellow college students, weekends of Disciple Now, and Ski Trips to Gatlinburg, girls' nights and story times. All of their stories would change me as much if not more than any story I shared with them. I took part in His daily activity of touching their hearts and mine once again in the rhythm of His heartbeat for us.
The strongest memory of an "office visit" includes being somewhat of a Taxi driver in a small town, teens piling into my family room every Tuesday night and more hanging out on Wednesdays. "Home" growing up before my very eyes thousands of miles from where I originated. Experiencing the act of loving, not receiving love, and the number of people I loved in a stronger, more tangible way than I ever imagined possible. Their stories would change me as much if not more than any story I shared with them. I took part in His daily activity of touching their hearts and mine once again in the rhythm of His heartbeat for us.
The longest office trip began on the day that He joined me to journey along with the person I respect most on this Earth. My Father has allowed me to know and understand this person better than any other person knows him. Only God knows this person better than I and only God knows me better than this person does. Our Father has taken the last 13 and half years to build us into a team that regularly amazes me. He has added three more to our team in the last nine years whom we are steadily getting to know as well. The stories of these 4 (both the ones they live and the ones they tell) change me as much if not more than any story I share with them. I can take part in His daily activity of touching their hearts and mine once again in the rhythm of His heartbeat for us.
The only thing I have to ask myself is, "Will I go to work with Dad today?" and if so, "Where will His office be, at the store, at school, in another part of the country, in another country?" The excitement and anticipation; thrilling!
"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." -Colossians 4:5-6 (These were the verses we prayed weeks in advance over that visit to Clearwater. Had deep impact on my heart and life.) Am I still praying it; even more am I living it?
Toward the end of Winter Break 2012, David took turns taking the boys to work with him one on Thursday, another on Friday. They loved it; getting to know the people he worked with; going to lunch with him; seeing the warehouse attached to his office; and just being one on one with him for the day. They witnessed the influence that he has in the lives of those he interacts with on a daily basis. They took part in his daily activity; it was a shared experience.
The first time I distinctly remember going to work with God, my Heavenly Father I was in Clearwater, Florida. A small group and I had broken away from our designated assignments for the Spring break mission trip, had pooled some of our food money for the week, bought and had monogrammed two leather Bibles, and were walking behind two large smelly dumpsters to say goodbye to two homeless men we had befriended during the week. They were veterans who had lost most everything they loved during their deployments; had given up on hope in life; and who were not accepted in the large church where we were assisting with coffee houses to draw in other college students in the area. They were not the target for our trip; they were not the specific audience for whom we had prayed in preparation for our trip; but their lives were the ones whom He had planned to intersect ours. Their stories would change us as much if not more than ours would change theirs. I took part in God's daily activity of touching their hearts once again in the rhythm of His heartbeat for us.
Other trips to His office included loving children in New York and working to stock a food pantry in Manhattan, moving my bed in front of the door to keep some beautiful girls from sneaking out in Panama City and eventually them not seeing me as the enemy, painting and washing and loading and unloading, leading songs with absolutely NO musical talent, teaching weekly Bible studies to fellow college students, weekends of Disciple Now, and Ski Trips to Gatlinburg, girls' nights and story times. All of their stories would change me as much if not more than any story I shared with them. I took part in His daily activity of touching their hearts and mine once again in the rhythm of His heartbeat for us.
The strongest memory of an "office visit" includes being somewhat of a Taxi driver in a small town, teens piling into my family room every Tuesday night and more hanging out on Wednesdays. "Home" growing up before my very eyes thousands of miles from where I originated. Experiencing the act of loving, not receiving love, and the number of people I loved in a stronger, more tangible way than I ever imagined possible. Their stories would change me as much if not more than any story I shared with them. I took part in His daily activity of touching their hearts and mine once again in the rhythm of His heartbeat for us.
The longest office trip began on the day that He joined me to journey along with the person I respect most on this Earth. My Father has allowed me to know and understand this person better than any other person knows him. Only God knows this person better than I and only God knows me better than this person does. Our Father has taken the last 13 and half years to build us into a team that regularly amazes me. He has added three more to our team in the last nine years whom we are steadily getting to know as well. The stories of these 4 (both the ones they live and the ones they tell) change me as much if not more than any story I share with them. I can take part in His daily activity of touching their hearts and mine once again in the rhythm of His heartbeat for us.
The only thing I have to ask myself is, "Will I go to work with Dad today?" and if so, "Where will His office be, at the store, at school, in another part of the country, in another country?" The excitement and anticipation; thrilling!
"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." -Colossians 4:5-6 (These were the verses we prayed weeks in advance over that visit to Clearwater. Had deep impact on my heart and life.) Am I still praying it; even more am I living it?
Thursday, January 03, 2013
Anticipation
A couple of evenings ago I was discussing with a dear person the topic of anticipation. As I approach my 36th birthday, I am conscious of the earlier years of my life being more full of anticipation. I excitedly awaited my teen years, acquiring my driver's license, graduating high school and then college, turning 21 (even though I haven't used that to its fullest), getting married, working at my first job and then my first "real" job, having children, and moving adventures around the country. These all came at a pace of every 2 or 3 years. As these events move steadily deeper into my past, I have initially felt a sense of rest and calm that I associated with contentment. I have been extremely thankful for all of them and gratefully enjoy fruit from each of them almost daily.
As my fellow sojourner pointed out, however, what is left in this life to anticipate? Are we supposed to anticipate earthly attainments? I admit I do dream about little things along the way of raising my children but those are distant and constant. Is this where Solomon was when He wrote of "uselessness"and "chasing the wind"? Is God moving me to long for and anticipate things beyond this earth, His return, and our eternity together?
1Thessalonians 2:19a (NIV)
"For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our LORD Jesus when he comes?
1 Peter 1:13 (NIV)
Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming"
2 Peter 2:12a (NIV)
"as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming..."
As my fellow sojourner pointed out, however, what is left in this life to anticipate? Are we supposed to anticipate earthly attainments? I admit I do dream about little things along the way of raising my children but those are distant and constant. Is this where Solomon was when He wrote of "uselessness"and "chasing the wind"? Is God moving me to long for and anticipate things beyond this earth, His return, and our eternity together?
1Thessalonians 2:19a (NIV)
"For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our LORD Jesus when he comes?
1 Peter 1:13 (NIV)
Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming"
2 Peter 2:12a (NIV)
"as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming..."
Saturday, October 27, 2012
"I Totally Hear Ya, Big Bro!!!"
Confession: This is how I have responded most often to the story of the account of the sons in Luke 15:11-32. On the surface I would say the I understand that I have my moments of similarity to the younger son. (Before I would have called him the "Prodigal" as I looked down my nose at him through my rimmed glasses.) But underneath I sympathize for the elder. This passage has been the target Scripture of many a service from which I have gleaned. I have heard that when the younger son asked for his share, it was as if he were wishing the father were dead. (After several years hanging out with students, it could be argued that this is just a phase of the teen years:)
Before I go any further, I want to state that although I am gaining insight into this passage through my experience with my children that I in no way associate either of my sons to a particular son in the passage. They, like me, have their older and younger son moments.
Currently my own boys are in a phase that totally highlights this point as if it is a movie acted out before me. One will ask for anything and everything, partly due to our relationship lately but mostly his view himself and me, his confidence in both him to ask and in me provide what he wants. The other completely talks himself out of asking for something that is perfectly legitimate and that as the parent I would love to provide. This has a little to do with how our relationship has been of late but also mostly how he envisions himself and me. He doubts himself, whether he is deserving or he doubts my ability to deliver. I wonder what the relationship between the father and the younger son was like when he asked. I have usually thought it to be strained and stressed, but as I read it now I see that it could have been just the opposite. The younger felt comfortable enough to come to his father with such a question and his father did not seem to hesitate to deliver. The older did not even feel at ease enough to ask for a young goat for a party. Did the younger son plan to squander it all or was ownership of it just too much for him to handle?
So I question, "does God, my Father and author of this illustration want me to strictly dwell on the behavior of these two sons? Is there something deeper, a heart issue, a relational connection that He wants from me that is not like either of them?" Have I mistaken the asking for the wedge? My personality is to not ask, to assume that I should handle it myself. I do this with David for material things and for assistance; I do this with friends for help in life; I have done this in the workplace. My spiritual leaning is to not ask; to withhold my desire because I feel I have not earned and do not deserve. I often equate this with thankfulness; He has done so much for me I feel I should not waste anymore of His time. Even as I write that sentence I sense Him smiling on me and my 'dirt for brains' as He unfolds His desire before me to clarify. He has ALL the time so He can afford to "waste it". ;) He is big and robust enough to listen to any request I present. He may require I take a "No." But even in that there will be the relating that He truly wants for me. As the father says to the older son in Luke, "Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours." the words "with me" echo off the page. So much of His heartbeat drums about being 'with Him' throughout Scripture.
Before I go any further, I want to state that although I am gaining insight into this passage through my experience with my children that I in no way associate either of my sons to a particular son in the passage. They, like me, have their older and younger son moments.
Currently my own boys are in a phase that totally highlights this point as if it is a movie acted out before me. One will ask for anything and everything, partly due to our relationship lately but mostly his view himself and me, his confidence in both him to ask and in me provide what he wants. The other completely talks himself out of asking for something that is perfectly legitimate and that as the parent I would love to provide. This has a little to do with how our relationship has been of late but also mostly how he envisions himself and me. He doubts himself, whether he is deserving or he doubts my ability to deliver. I wonder what the relationship between the father and the younger son was like when he asked. I have usually thought it to be strained and stressed, but as I read it now I see that it could have been just the opposite. The younger felt comfortable enough to come to his father with such a question and his father did not seem to hesitate to deliver. The older did not even feel at ease enough to ask for a young goat for a party. Did the younger son plan to squander it all or was ownership of it just too much for him to handle?
So I question, "does God, my Father and author of this illustration want me to strictly dwell on the behavior of these two sons? Is there something deeper, a heart issue, a relational connection that He wants from me that is not like either of them?" Have I mistaken the asking for the wedge? My personality is to not ask, to assume that I should handle it myself. I do this with David for material things and for assistance; I do this with friends for help in life; I have done this in the workplace. My spiritual leaning is to not ask; to withhold my desire because I feel I have not earned and do not deserve. I often equate this with thankfulness; He has done so much for me I feel I should not waste anymore of His time. Even as I write that sentence I sense Him smiling on me and my 'dirt for brains' as He unfolds His desire before me to clarify. He has ALL the time so He can afford to "waste it". ;) He is big and robust enough to listen to any request I present. He may require I take a "No." But even in that there will be the relating that He truly wants for me. As the father says to the older son in Luke, "Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours." the words "with me" echo off the page. So much of His heartbeat drums about being 'with Him' throughout Scripture.
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
BUMP!!!!
There was a time in my life when new roads or paths were very close to chocolate and Dr. Pepper on my list of things to enjoy. I would notice them as I drove to work and think I need to check that out. The less painted lines and more foliage surrounding them assisted them in calling to me on my journey. My curiosity would later bring me back on a lazy day to meander through their turns and curves and take in their often beautiful scenery.
It has been challenging to carry this love of literal new roads into parenthood with its figurative ones. Regularly the new road or path is forced upon me by an emergency Road Closed sign on the ones I have used before. First, I like to choose when I use the new road! Second, these figurative new roads are often very similar to those with less clearly painted lines and thicker foliage which means they often have more bumps and potholes. They also have none of those huge road construction signs warning "BUMP" so I hit them going my normal pace (because having 3 kids rarely gives a lazy day:). These bumps jostle me head, neck, back, relationships with the kids, and my relationship with David. As I process these, I think and observe that it is easier for married couples (at least for D and me) to guard against the bumps in the road that come from careers, extended family, friends, and circumstances. But man those parenting bumps are crazy! There are five team members now where there used to be only two and although we are still hold majority stock, those other three relationships deeply affect the suspension of our family. As there lives grow and schedules separate us, we must make decisions without the others being physically present; we must adjust. Our family values do well to act as guardrails but the emotional bumps in communication are hard for which to prepare. I am questioning if it would be helpful that before we debrief following one of these occurrences we said, "Bump!" or "Curvy Road Ahead" to communicate to the other that we aren't completely sure how they will react and that we did the best we could in the moment but our confidence is still shaken.
It has been challenging to carry this love of literal new roads into parenthood with its figurative ones. Regularly the new road or path is forced upon me by an emergency Road Closed sign on the ones I have used before. First, I like to choose when I use the new road! Second, these figurative new roads are often very similar to those with less clearly painted lines and thicker foliage which means they often have more bumps and potholes. They also have none of those huge road construction signs warning "BUMP" so I hit them going my normal pace (because having 3 kids rarely gives a lazy day:). These bumps jostle me head, neck, back, relationships with the kids, and my relationship with David. As I process these, I think and observe that it is easier for married couples (at least for D and me) to guard against the bumps in the road that come from careers, extended family, friends, and circumstances. But man those parenting bumps are crazy! There are five team members now where there used to be only two and although we are still hold majority stock, those other three relationships deeply affect the suspension of our family. As there lives grow and schedules separate us, we must make decisions without the others being physically present; we must adjust. Our family values do well to act as guardrails but the emotional bumps in communication are hard for which to prepare. I am questioning if it would be helpful that before we debrief following one of these occurrences we said, "Bump!" or "Curvy Road Ahead" to communicate to the other that we aren't completely sure how they will react and that we did the best we could in the moment but our confidence is still shaken.
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